I Have So Much Time Poem by h herschel

why do I think this way? Why am I the way that I am? I get so unbelievably jealous when I see others so comfortable in their life, their skin, the way they talk so freely. I'm so subconscious about how my mouth moves when I speak, where my eyes go when I'm looking at the person in front of me. I'm so far away from my brain, my body does not know me, the person I am up in my head is itching to leave. They do not collide. I need them to. Whenever I'm thinking my mind is speaking for months, it has so much to say, the barricade and barrier my mouth has put up against my brain only gets higher, the climb is far too tall, yet I try. I can name so many reasons as to why I have become this way, blame the entire world, every little experience I've had in the 20 something years I have been alive has done something to me. thank God I'm only a 20 something, alongside all this. I'm excited, there's so much of me left to learn, I have so much time.
I have so much time.