I Hope Someday You Will Understand (My Unexpressed Feelings) Poem by Lindokuhle Dawordplaymind Nkosi

All I do is to jog through the memories of what we used to be
I'm caged by my own thoughts, my mind don't know what it means to be free
Every second that passes by I think about her even more
Everyday I ask myself questions like why?
I'm dying and ain't nobody willing to help me 'cause my grief is still raw
And it feels like I've lost everything that belongs to me
Or is it everything that belongs to me that has lost me?
My eyes are clouded by mist- maybe that's why I can't move on
My heart bleeds along with the lyrics of sad love songs
Saying she was the best thing I ever had in my life,
But now all faded in the thin smoke
And the more I try to apologise, the more I lose the strife
It hurts to see everything you live for die with the hope
Damn I should have swallowed my pride and gave her the love she deserved
For she was a diamond in the rough that needed to be preserved
But I couldn't see that
'cause I thought everything she did for me was wack...

But I hope someday you will understand the amount of pain I'm going through
I hope you will understand how much it hurts when love has abandoned you
She was the center of my world, my candlelight in fears
For as long as I have her in my arms - I never knew how it feels like to cry bitter tears
She was the reason for my tomorrow and my forever partner in all things through eternity
I spent my destiny and fairytales with her in reality
For she made my life much more worth living
She made me believe in love with every reason
She accepted me as a person torn and tattered
She received me as a man bruised and battered
She held me when all in my world was falling apart
But still I broke her heart...

All she ever wanted was to live with me and die only when there is no more love that she can give or I can receive
A good lover she was, she only needed me to speak love and life to her and make her to believe
All she wanted was to help me to become a better man, yet I did her wrong
I guess it's true in that song
When they say loving someone is the same as playing with your heart in the dirt
I should have loved her for who she was, but instead I judged her by sheer vanity...

But I hope someday she will understand my unexpressed feelings
And her golden heart will seek to forgive all my wrong-doings.