I Know It Hurts You Poem by Anna Cellmer

I like this what you wrote to me
Recently
It helps me to believe
That you are a special man to me
I know you are not so bad
As I said to you
I know you care
I know you try to understand
I know you are a good man
And I still
Feel warm in my heart to you
But I'm afraid
This marriage can't be good
For both of us
For me and you too
There is something inside me
What makes me still think
About another life
About another place
Beside him
And I know how it hurts you
But there is nothing I can do
For it
I'm still the woman who lives
By my dream
And I can't just throw out him
From my heart
I couldn't live without him
I couldn't work I couldn't smile
Without his sight inside my mind
You are still so handsome one
And you know
What is right and what is wrong
I respect your mind but
Sometimes I think
That I'm not so good as you are
I like to be a little rude one
And this how you think
I should live I just can't
I love my fantasies
I love to be as I am inside
Without too many rules sometimes
I feel free then
And more happy
So, I think we can't be together
If you can't understand
Even this that
I need him so much
I need my lover to feel alive
I need my lover to smile
But if I'll go I hope
That you will forgive me
That I didn't love you
Strong enough to stay forever
I hope you can understand
You are the smart man
I know I should hide this
I know you shouldn't know
To save this marriage
But I can't be silent
When I love
I know it hurts you
And it hurts you strong
But this that you couldn't
Forgive me
Is the reason I should go
If you can't live with me and him
You must live alone
Because he is my soul
Without this man I couldn't live anymore
I always loved him and I always will
Even if he doesn't want me
Right now and right here
He lives inside me
And he will stay there forever
I tried to forget him
But I wasn't complete
I wasn't my self to the end
Now I know this
And I can live with this
But you don't
Even if everything happens
Only in my mind
It's too hard for you
So, I can't
I can't live with you
Because I'm cheating you
All the time even sleeping in your arms
I know it is sad for you
I know it hurts but
He is the man I love most
And I can't pretend anymore
That I'm only yours
Because it is not truth