I Know What I Am... Poem by neha agarwal

I had an encounter with what i am

I realized i have grown up and can no more play in a pram
life has taught a lot in d past few years

i was afraid of everythin earlier but now i have no more fears.

I know that no matter how much i lie to myself

its me who knows the reality

i hate what i am and hope to change my personality

not a great thing has ever been achieved by me

failures, tears, and losing is all that i have seen.

I wont blame destiny for it, because its me who never tried

I always gave up easily

and would show my helplessness when i cried

I say that a lot has changed, and i am no more the same.

The reality is that i am a loser who cant win a single game.

I know the change is within me and its me who has to imbibe

I keep quesitoning myself but my heart never replies

i hope the day will come soon when i realize my responsibility

i will distinguish between right and wrong and know whats my priority

i waste my time thinking nonsense and cribbing about whats missing

but the reality is that i have my family and friends

who always keep singing

They always want to see me happy and joyous

but the reality is kept to me and i try being very modest.

the reality is that i am still a immature person

i never made my parents proud, but the same cant be said for their son.

They have high expectations from their daughter

but im not a great personality, i only search for laughter

i have one request,

god, plz..dont take anymore tests

you might think i am very strong

but i need some rest.



I am tired of fighting for so long, i always think i am right

but in reality my existence is only wrong

i question you, why the hell have u created me

why did u send me here, whats that, that you want me to see.

please dont make me suffer anymore, my dear lord.

if this is what you want for me, then let me fight by gifting me a sword.

I think that i am mad, and no diverse from any other.

i am exhausted of all this, and cant walk any further.

i try to prove that i can also fight

but the things around are so blurred, they seem out of sight

my dear lord, please,

get me out of this dirt.

i am very much a fighter, but i cant tolerate anymore, this really hurts.

I know that your doing this for a specific reason,

but i am a human, so dont expect me to change like seasons.

you tell me, god, whats that, that needs to be done.

you show me the direction and thats where i'll turn

whats that you want, please tell me.

i cant stay so guarded, please let me free..