'I Love You' So You Say Poem by Iviwe ImithandazO

who would have thought
3 words,8 letters would have turned my world up side down
i'm completely stripped of emotions
numb of feelings
left in this humanly body with no heartbeat
all thanks to 3 words,8 letters...
'i love you'

'i love you' so you say
do you love me as much as my father loved my mother
when he left her when she needed him the most
after all he was just a 'sperm donor'
who had no intention of being called father one day
so to him, leaving his unborn child
and leaving his pregnant girlfriend
was the best decision he could ever make
besides he had tons of young girls to screw
leaving my mother with the pain of seeing him each time she stared at me

'i love you' so you say
do you love me as much as my mother loved me
each time she took my petite body and crushed with with bitter words
leaving me with internal wounds
i was just a little girl
all i ever wanted was for her to love me...
or at least pretend
but that was obviously too much to ask for
all i ever got from her were scars
that left a void in my heart

'i love you' so you say
do you love me as much as my boyfriend loved me
when he too my dignity
my innocence
a part of me on the back seat of his car as i screamed no
pushing him
shoving him
but he took the white garment and wiped the dirty floor with it
satisfied, he threw me out of his car and drove off
leaving the weeping willow behind

'i love you' so you say
do you love me as much as i loved my unborn child
when i decided to play God
and sacrifice her life because i just could conceive her and have her feeling like the burden i knew she would be
i just couldn't bring her into this world when i had nothing to offer her
so i took the easy way out and turned my womb into a slaughter house
and my toilet into a grave yard

'i love you' so you say
do you love me as much as society loves me
all they ever do is talk about me
rumour has it i deserve all that has happened to me
after all my mother is a drunkard
my father a run away dad
my boyfriend a rapist
and am a hussif
a tornado
attracting all only to demolish them later on

'i love you' so you say
do you love me as much as i love myself
that i cant even look at my own reflection in the mirror
dont even know who i am
not even sure if i ever knew
cant even say my name without associating it with death

'i love you' so you say
i have heard those words more than once
those words brought about anguish in my life
what makes yours different

i heard you love unconditionally
'God' you are called
so tell me how much do you love me

i guess i shall never know
until i give You a chance
so here i am once more
giving you all that i am
asking you to show me
how much you mean those 3 words,8 letters
'i love you'