I'Ve Figured It Out Poem by Raymond Farrell

I've figured it out
What drives me up the wall
About this internet business
Besides being the next thing to a Luddite
I am a technical Neanderthal
I was born before PCs and hand held calculators et cetera
So my online needs are as simple as I am
But it is the inconsistency
Of this technology
That drives me crazy
Not all technology lacks consistency
If I flick the light switch
The lights either come on or go off
No hesitation
What happens today will happen tomorrow
But go online, one day
And it's slower than molasses in January
(I know you've heard that one before
And you've heard my complaint before too)
Another day
Never mind about that
Fifteen minutes later even
The speed will have changed
To that of a cheetah
Sprinting across the savannah
And just
When you need it to be fast
It's slow
This may not be poetry
But at least
I've got it off my chest.