I Will Be Whole Again. Poem by samantha garza

nothing i do seems to meet your high standards
nothings i say seems to get through to you
everything i do is wrong in your eyes,
and yet i still want to please you no matter the outcome.

no matter that i know in the end i will just end up hurt and in need of help.
no matter that i know that if i ask for your help all you will do is laught and tell me to get lost.
even then i want to please you.
even then.

one day, hopefully, i will be able to break away from you
one day i'll be able to tell you to leave and your opinion won't matter to me anymore.
Hopefully....

i doubt it.
because righ now you are both an angle sent from the hevans and a demon sent from hell.
you are my savior and my tormentor and i don't know how to get rid of you.

i want my sanity back.
i want the knowlegde that even though you may not like who i am, someone out there does.
i want it back.

i will get It back.

maybe not today, maybe not tomarrow,
maybe not in a week or a month or a year,
but someday i will have all of the little bit and pieces you scraped off of my character back.

i will be me again.

i will be whole.

i will be myself once more.