If Poem by el ajenjo

And so now I know I am a ghost.
After what you said, I know that I have ceased to be.
How can i ask my heart to beat?
My entire body is turning against me. This heart that has been under your care so long. It yearns to be with you again.
In my possession, it has become a useless clock that can no longer be wound. But even IF it beat for me, it would be only to give strength to my hands.
My own hands would knot themselves around my neck attempting to separate this useless head from my shoulders, as a tourniquet separates an irreparable limb.
They understand that my overactive brain has squandered the opportunity for them to hold you,
to caress you, and to wander through your hair.
And should they fail,
perhaps my lips would shut forever and taking away any nourishment I try to take. Be it food, water, and plot along with my nose to deny me another breath.
My lips will poison me with the rotting remains of the unused kisses that they saved for you. And having never tasted your lips, my mouth will turn into a tomb.
I will choke on a congestion of a million words not said, of love poems composed but not recited, of laughs not shared.
My ears hide the sounds of rushing cars and trains with melodies of love gone lost.
My legs, that have always rushed to take me to you, now guide me to my doom under a star filled night.
My eyes will not allow me to be aware of their betrayal. The lids are clenched, and should they pull apart, are instantly filled with tears.
And so now I know that i am a ghost.
Don't be sad. I am a happy ghost. IF I can be with you. Your guardian and faithful servant for eternity. IF only in memory.
And IF it has to be like that. Thank you my heart. My hands. Thank you my mouth, nose, ears, and eyes. And thank you legs. For guiding me this night under these stars.