Imaginary Poem by Clover Ravenclaw Sunstar

I can't trust anyone because of what you have done to me.
I want to believe that what he says is true, but I can't let myself.
My mind knows he would never lie to me, but because of you, my heart can't.
I know he will always be there, the way you weren't.
You promised me forever and gave me nothing.
You said you would come back, and I guess you did.
Just not for me.
Like you said you would.

I've given him my heart, but
I can't accept his, because I could never hurt someone the way you hurt me.
I want him close, yet I have to push him away.
You swore that you would come back for me,
and I almost wish you hadn't.
But, then I would have been waiting for something that would never happen.
I guess I have to thank you for atleast letting me know you never loved me, and not to wait.
Because you would never love me like I needed you to.
Like he does, but I can't take his love.

What if I hurt him? I could never forgive myself.
If I put someone through the pain that you put me through,
and all the tears I shed for you.
You changed so much and I don't even know who you are anymore.
I don't miss this you, I miss who you used to be and who you can't be again.
I miss someone I can never see again.
I don't want you anymore, I have him and that's all I need.
All I want.
I just have to know you're still in there,
That I didn't give three years of my life to a shadow.
To someone who I had made myself see, someone who I had invented to hide behind,
because I thought you had loved me.
Because you told me you did.

You lied to me over and over and it destroyed me.
You made me feel worthless and unwanted.
You made me think I was worth something and then you took it away.

You can't miss something you never knew, and you let me in,
If only for a second, to know what I was missing.
then you took it all away and left me to miss the
imaginary person you had given me, if only for an instant.

Just when I think I'm finally done with you,
that I can let myself move on and stop blaming myself for not being good enough for you.
You pop back and make myself question who I am all over again.
I love him, and I don't deserve him.
If I wasn't good enough for you, how can I be good enough for someone who is obviously
so much better than you are?

I can't take back what I thought you had taken from me,
because you didn't really take it, you just confirmed what I had always thought.
Before, I could trick myself into believing I was worth something.
But you took even that small comfort from me.
Therefore, he can't change what I have known all my life.
what I have been shone I was worth for as long as I can remeber.
Which is nothing.

The imaginary person you gave me, took everything I had.
You couldn't even bother to be yourself.
You just lied and told me I was all you wanted.
Then showed me that I was never going to be enough for you.

You lied and said you loved me, but that wasn't you.
That was who you wanted me to think you were.
I wasn't enought even for the shadow I thought you were.
How can I even start to be worth something to him?