In Life Not In Death Poem by Albert Arsenio Sison

In life not in death
Sison
Feb.11 2006
2: 08am

every morning you used to wake me up
start my day with your sweet gentle voice
everything was a dream back then
with our intimacy of discreet love
emptiness filled by each others hope
despite those who bothered us
our senseless fun made us alive
made us closer yet farther from reality

cold nights seem much colder now
now that our bond has broken
there is nothing but death ahead
and its permanence is eternal
like the tears you shed
it can't return into your eyes

whatever wrong we had made
it won't justify your last sin
everything is like a nightmare ever since
damned and tainted by what started as faith
we've been reduced to being just flawed diamonds
worthless than we could have been
how did it come to this
into nothingness, sadness and madness

hollowed is my heart now
now that i can only dream of you
you will live with the memory that will fade
and you're impermanence is eternal
like the blood that escaped
it can't return through your wrist

each clock will remind of my lose
i know my hunger will corrupt my mind
and every good deed won't get you back
just the longing for the pain to end
the ashes of the burned past will haunt
reminding my future will be restless
nothing to live for, none more to lose
for i have none at all since you left

you've forbidden me to speak now
now that you're six feet underground
when will the promised peace start
i need it more than anything else
hell has conquered my soul
the very soul you once owned.

tonight i will feel your calmness
and the betrayal will be forgotten
as soon as sleep shut my eyes
i'll follow you in light or darkness
willing for the earth to take me back
embrace the reaper and offer a kiss
for it will take me to where you lay
only then my sorrow will be lifted

it seems death has arrived now
now my bitter life will end
but it feels like there's a flaw
it won't strike its scythe
tears being shed behind its shroud
WHY! ! ! why won't it let me die

then everything became so clear
calmer than death could offer
i embraced my reaper for the last time
and bid it farewell
never to return until my true time
for i saw you behind that shroud
i said 'you were my life'
and you spoke 'and i will not be your death'