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In Vain

Do you know how it feels?
To wake up with his thoughts
Choking your conscience
To lose your will for a life
Just to die for him.

Do you know how it feels?
To look in the mirror and not see yourself;
But the body he touched, the lips he tasted and the soul he loved.

Do you know how it feels?
To be given salvation in the fragile minutes by his side,
And an eternity of doom for the years apart.

Do you know how it feels?
To use your wish on his gorgeous smile,
Even if you can't be the cause.
To pray for the sinner who broke your heart,
Hope that his is never shattered.

Do you know how it feels?
To twist your mind and damn yourself,
For you never could prove your worth.
To break down in the middle of the day,
For you couldn't love him in the way he deserved.

Do you know how it feels?
To balance your bleeding feet on the knife,
Too much in pain to hold on,
Too much in love to give up.

To walk on the splinters of your dreams,
Just to relieve your deity of his pain.
To worship him with the last drops of your blood.

Do you know how it feels?
To love,
And love
In vain?
POET'S NOTES ABOUT THE POEM
Written on 13/01/2021 when it had been 10 months without you
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4/17/2021 3:28:31 AM # 1.0.0.559