It's So Hard Poem by Susan Ash

It’s so hard
Not to show him
I still care.
I know there are many
Who would say
“Go on, that’s what he needs.
Make the first move”.
So many ready with
Their simple answers.
So little do they know.

How many times should
I turn the other cheek
Before I say
Enough is enough?
How many times should I forgive
Just to be hurt again?
Should I keep on sacrificing until
There is nothing of me left?
Is that all my life is worth?

Déjà vu. I’ve been here before.
Any show of affection, understanding,
Is mistaken for forgiveness.
A sign that everything is
Alright really. That things can
Can go on being the same.
While all the time I am dying.
And he cannot see my
Living death.

It’s so hard
Not to show him
I still care.
But if I do,
Then I am lost.