.its All Encompassing Poem by Angie M..

I know Ive stopped writing poems here.
It's all been so confusing.
I know if you were in my shoes
You'd see how I knew without doubt in the beginning. That never changed
Only the confusing choices made that were painful in the dark spaces I saw you keeping me in.
I know you can say I kept myself there
And I did see that
I always crawled out and gave thanks. I understood those spaces and why they may have been necessary.
I know I dont fully understand the extent of the work and love put in, but I do understand and I know Ill understand more as life comes to pass.
I dont apologize for everything I say, but I do correct it.

It impacts me everyday I wake and there is no progress. Opportunities not taken. I put myself in your shoes and I understand the fight for the good credit due when it is felt Ive slandered your character. I contemplate it all and always have. There was a lot of frustration and confusion and I always knew of good intentions, good works and always mentioned them

Im not sure why Im still here. I only know Im not a malicious person who deserves such guilt. I only know that I have said in the past Im sorry, and feel intuitively that you know when I am.
I only know that I too, have my pain.
I only know that I need to go forward because its not ok to not have the communication that helps because really, Ive had to guess through it all

And with him, its everything together. Its gratitude and some hurt. Its grace and some admiration. Hardship and ease through it. There is no ignorance on how hard he's worked. One can say Ive made myself the bad guy...but that's not healthy for me. I already know where I misunderstood, I already corrected it and that's probably why I say I deserve to be treated better than this, arrogant as it sounds because Im passed that. Then I spit out manipulation and control because Im still being treated the same way. So I dont understand why its the same as 2.5 years ago.