Juliet, Myria Poem by Andrus Cassian

Day of freedom; the merriment, happiness accompanied with it
on a stand still, halted; put in storage for another day
a day where it would be needed most
God knows I need it now but I never put it to use anyway
I'll just deplete it from the reserve tanks
transfer it to Juliet, transfer it to Myria who need it most
need me to be the comforting factor through their trying times
They know I'm more than willing to be there for them
a personal therapist
or just a shoulder to cry on although I'm near tears myself
I don't cry much, hardly at all yet today, I'm beside myself
utterly speechless, useless in my mind
No one, I am no one
Who am I to try and their hero
when in days of thrice, the signal will shine again
and here I am, ready to go into deja vu
Skepticism is alive but let it die tonight
I don't care about myself
just despising how dead, disgusted, selfish my actions are
as if I'm the sun and everyone are just dying stars
I can't blame them for drifting away
Juliet, Juliet, Juliet; death plays a fatal game with her
bringing her another body to mourn, one more memory to forget
another song so soft to let her cry peacefully
Her love is rejected one by one consistently
a different someone to try and fill my size 14's
Her family is disrupted, destructive
because of a variable who just won't move
and it seems like all her friends fight to be the next contestant
on her dating show
My alarm must be off, I must have missed the signal
she relied on me to be the comfort, the hero, be there for her
but I've turned into a spectator on the sidelines
leaving her out to dry, forcefully pushing her farther away
as if she remains faceless, as if I've never loved her
What's my reason...I wish I knew myself...
perhaps I'm reacting out of bitterness, a sour taste in my mouth
left there by the burning notion of thrice
being a cursed set of days; after the lovely moment we shared
two nights ago...
I feel it will all be in vain...the curse of the days of thrice
then the war within myself will commence, round 2555
fall to pieces, everything will once again
I can't begin to explain how many tears I've cried for Juliet
pleading, bleeding my heart out
just for...just for...Juliet...
Myria, where are you, where have you disappeared to
the place in my heart where you were kept, it's empty
Cupid, Eros; can you aid me in my search for her
It's like she ran away, not from me
from witnessing firsthand the battle scars of family fights
continuing on into the middle of the night
erasing the very hours of sleep in need of functioning properly
Where has all the madness come from
when will all of this be undone, cease
so they can finally be set free and I can see the smiling faces
which brings me out of the darkest haze