Katy The Crocodile (39 Scots Bairn Poems) Poem by Sheena Blackhall

Katy The Crocodile (39 Scots Bairn Poems)


I am the hoolet in the tree
I like moosies fur ma tea
I ett their fuskers, tails an heid
An wash them doon wi ratten's bleed!


I'm a firewirk fu o starns
Tae peint alang the nicht
Niver haud me in yer haun
Or ye will get a fricht

Fur 'Bang' I'll gyang
An fire will poor
Hyne ooto ma bihoochie
Vrocht in Taiwan
Tae bring fowk fun
Ma name is Sam Suzuki.


Snaile snailie on the waa,
Are ye niver feart ye'd fa?
Wi yer hoosie on yer back
Like a hiker wi a pack?

Feech, snailie! Dicht yer snoot!
Slivvrin ower the watter spoot!


A snailie heistit his hornies up
Ae simmer's day, ae simmer's day.
Ahin a gowden buttercup,
Come oot tae play, come oot tae play.

Bit first ae hornie,
Syne anither,
Wis drookt wi rain, till,
Feech! Sic weather!
He cried, an pued his hornies doon
A weeter an a wycer loon.


Slivvery, slivvery, bubbly snoot
I am the snail frae the watter spoot
I cairry ma hoosie upon ma back
An draa in ma heid
Fin the skies are black.

6.SHOPPIES: tune: Wha saw the 42nd?

Fa sells ye minty sweeties?
Far dae ye buy them ma?
Fa sells ye minty sweeties?
Is't a corner shop or staa?

Some fowk gang tae supermairkets
Some fowk dinnae shop at aa
Some fowk noo e-mail their eerins
Niver leave their hoose at aa!

Fa sells ye crabs an fishies?
Far dae ye buy them ma? etc
Fa sells ye claes an ribbons?
Far dae ye buy them ma? ...etc


Fin I pit on ma jammies,
an climm the stairs tae bed
I ken that he'll be wytin,
ma frien caad Mr Ted

An fin I coorie doon tae sleep
I'll haud him in ma bosie
He's made o fur, he disnae gurr
He's affa affa cosie


Foo mony runs wis thon?
Can I nae cheenge channels?
I canna?

Yon's nae fair...
Jist cause I'm wee
It's Dae this
Dae thon
Ye manna!

Ma, can I bide up late?
Foo nae?
Mrs Smith lets my frien John!
I've washed ma lugs
An ma teeth's clean tee
There's aliens comin on Channel 3
Foo can I nae bide up tae see
TV, fin there's monsters on?

Da, there's a cartoon on jist noo.
Fit wye maun I watch the news!
I've deen ma hamewirk
I've fed the dug
I've cleared ma lego frae aff the rug
Oh fan div I get tae choose!


Fitba is the favourite game
O Mrs Baxter's loon.
She canna dish his denner up,
If he is dowpit doon,
Tae watch it on the TV screen.
He canna aim his moo...
The beans faa aff his suppin speen
They're on the carpet, noo!


Fit's in yer pooch, Missus Kangaroo?
A cuckoo clock, or a pirate crew?
Or a blue-tailed gibbon frae Embro zoo?
A wee roon cake?
Or a pirn-taed doo?
Oh, fit's in yer pooch, Missus Kangaroo?


Charlie Cheetah's taen the chukkenpox,
They sent him hame frae skweel
Wi a fever an a furry tongue
He really wisna weel

That's the wye he's hingin luggit
An he's wabbit an he's wae
He's the faistest rinner in the class
He's missin Sports, the day.


I am a Bengal tiger,
Upon a fence I trippit,
Fin it wis newly peintit,
An yon is foo I'm strippit!


Spottit semmit,
Gollach's wings,
Reistin far
The harebell hings.

Leddylanners, Ruby reid,
Yer a drap o fleein bluid.

Pitter patter Doon ye faa
Dowpin, deinty
On the waa.


I'm a Heilan coo,
Twa horns fur a hat,
An a winnerfu view.

I dinna ett sweeties,
Or skirly or stew,
I'm a Heilan coo.


Fa's that stottin ower the sna?
Robin Reidbreist, roon an sma
Wi a fire upon his sark
Tae licht his hoosie in the dark.

16.THE ROBIN SANG tune: Chick- chick- chicken

Stottin up an doon sae reid
Wid ye like a daud o breid?
Fur ye michtna get a crumb till Xmas
Nae even a shakk o seed
Sae Rob-rob-rob-rob-robin
Wid ye like a daud o breid?

Wid ye like a crust or twa?
Wi yer feathers broon an braw
Fur the sky is cauld an wintry
An I think it's gaun tae snaa
Oh Rob-rob-rob-rob-robin
Wid ye like a crust or twa?

Wid ye like a drap tae drink?
Cause the pond's like a skatin rink
An the icicles are jigglin
An it's caulder than ye think
Oh Rob-rob-rob-rob-robin
Wid ye like a drap tae drink?


Ma's awa tae a hen nicht,
A cluck o wifies claikin,
Will she win hame wi a beak an caimb,
Efter her meenlicht raikin?

Da's awa tae a stag nicht.
Will he staun in the street an roar?
If he jynes the breed wi horns on its heid,
Will we let him back ower the door?

Da says I ett like a grumphie,
Ma says I've the sense o a flee,
Gran says I'm the cat's pyjamas,
Bit I say I'm jist me!


Dalls an knickers,
Lampshades, stickers,
Kettles, forks
Recycled claes

Blankets, mochles,
Buits an bauchles
Selt, aa gyang their separate wyes.

Scarfs an jammies
Caps fur mannies
Flooerpots on the windae sill
Jam jars
Go cars
Xmas tree stars
Cast aff trock
Fills up the till.
Can ye sell them?
Aye, we will!


Naebody likes me!
I am a slater
Ye chase me an squash me
Bit I'm jist a craitur
The same as a kittlin
A dug or a moose
An I dinna need
Hauf as much
Space in yer hoose!


Vampires roon the campfires,
Heeze heeze heeze.
Midgies, midgies, midgies,
Dinna bite please!

Ging tae Transylvania!
Ging an takk a dook!
Bit Midgies, midgies, midgies,
Dinna takk a sook!


Far's ma lead?
Far's ma dish?
Far's ma tasty been?

Bowf! Bowf! Bowf! Bowf!
I bide in Aiberdeen.
I am the faistest, fiercest, tyke
That ye hae fiver seen!


Teacher's got a fite boord,
Teacher's got a blackboord
Teacher's got a stick o chakk, computer an a pen
Teacher's got a heidache, teacher takks a teabreak
Dylon Buchan's fechtin Jamie Paterson again!


Foo mony hoolets hoot
Roon aboot the hoose?

There is hungeret Horace Hoolet
On the look-oot fur a moose

There is genteel Harry Hoolet
Suppin denner wi a speen

There is scunnerin Hackit Hoolet
Wi his oxters bowfin green

There is sleekit Hamish Hoolet
Wi a doocot fur a nest

There is slystery Hefty Hoolet
Wi her pudden doon her vest

There is Hooligan the Hoolet
Luikin fur some glaiss tae smash
Flew intae a double decker
Noo he's Hoolet-Instant-Mash

There is Skinnymalinkie Hanna
Fatty Hetty big an broon

There's a hoolet caad Horatio
Fa ay sleeps upside doon

Foo mony hoolets
Hoot roon aboot the hoose?
As mony as the bubbles
In a tin o orange juice!


Custard wis ma favourite food
As muckle's I cud swalla,
Until the day I waukened up,
Ma beak an feet war yalla!

An noo, I plap aroon the warld
A skyrie, dowie, dyeuk
Wi a neb an twa flat flippers
That's the colour o a plook!


Dauchle awhile, an gie's yer crack.
Michty! Siccan a jobby back!

Preens fur a sark, like a besom's bristle,
Yer as stobby's a dykside thrissle!

Fin danger's near,
Yer heid's in yer dowp.
Tapsalteerie, ower ye cowp!

26.Katy the Crocodile

Katy the crocodile stappt her moo,
Wi chocolate, chips an cheese.
She raxxed yer jaws an she fullt her wame
Wi puddens an cakes an peas.

She fried her tatties, she fried her breid,
In a pan o gruesome grease,
An efter a year or twa o thon,
Her belly it reached her knees.

She cudna daunce, or sweem, or wauk,
She jist grew fat an fatter.
Fin Katy lowped in the jungle puil,
There wis nae room left fur watter.

She grew as roon as a green balloon,
Till she eft her last meringue.
Wi a terrible soon, frae taes tae croon
She blew up wi a bang!

27.Bath-Room Bogle

Doon in the foon
O oor Fite bath,
Dowpit on echt black legs,
A wyver sits wi a smirk on its moo
Wytin tae gie folk flegs.

Turn on the tap!
Sweel him awa!
Belly, oxter, an lug!
Ae black wyver
On echt black legs
Vanishin doon the plug!

27.GUY FAWKES Tune: One more step... (An Action Song)

James the Saxth rode intae Lunnon toon X 3

Chorus: Far the Thames gaes rowin ower
James the Saxth pit on the English croon X 3

Guy Fawkes didnae like the new king's wyes X 3

He crept tae a cellar unner parliament X 3

Guy Fawkes tried tae blaw the hale place up X 3

They catched him an kilt him doon in Lunnon toon X 3

Licht the bonfires let them burn, burn burn X 3


It's Halloween, wee neep in the park!
We'll teem yer belly
We'll save yer sark
Pit caunles inno yer twa neep een
Fur a ghaistie-licht at Halloween.


Mollochy Mowdie howks an howks
Till up through the grun his black neb powks

Mollochy Mowdie's blin's a bat
He cudnae tell cake fae a fit d'ye caat


Willie wirm is tied in knots
Because he disna ken
If it's his boddom or his tap
That's heid or hinner-en!


If I cud be a beastie
I wadna be a snail
Fa humfs his hoosie on his back
Alang a slimey trail

I wadna be a centipede
Wi hauf a hunner beets
And hauf a hunner socks tae rug
Aroon ma gollach's queats

If I cud be a beastie,
I'd be a forkietail
Wi a shears on my bihoochie
And an armoured coat o mail.


An octopus's oxters
Are dichtit eence a day
He soaps them wi a sea sponge
Afore he gings tae play
At fitbaa wi a mermaid
A labster an a sole
Bit every kick he catches,
They can niver score a goal!

33. DINNA BE ROCH tune: Holy Spirit Hear Us

Dinna be roch be gentle
Dinna be coorse be gweed
Be polite an helpfu
Think o anither's need

Dinna tell lees be truthfu
Dinna makk ithers greet
Dinna be lazy, wirk hard
Be kind tae fowk ye meet

Dinna be rude or selfish
Dinna gie chikk ava
Takk tent an ay be cannie
Things brakk if they should faa

Dinna makk feels o ithers
Dinna lauch at the weak
Fin ither bairns miscaa ye
Turn roon the ither cheek


Dentist, dentist, ma tooth's sweet
Will I need a fillin fin I'm dowpit in yer seat?
If I pass yer check up, I'll promise that I'll eat
An aipple or a tangie fur a treat, treat, treat.

I'll clean ma teeth at bedtime,
Finiver Derkness comes,
Tae stop the germs wi clarty buits
Fae dauncin on ma gums.


Ching! Here's a pensioner.
Wyte till she's on
Move ower an gie her a seat, come on!

Staunin room anely! Step ben, step ben!
We hinna got aa day tae wyte, ye ken
Click ging the wipers. Rainin again!


Taxi Driver, fit's yer fare?
Hurlin fowk fae here an there?

Taxi Driver gin yer late
Plane an pilot winna wait!


Sen fur the doctor, my kyte's churnin
Sen fur the doctor, my chikk's burnin
I will takk a mixture or a great big peel
Sen fur the doctor cause I'm nae weel


Dunt, gings the letterbox! My, fit a thrill!
Da got a letter. Mither got a bill
Granny got her pension, Granda got a pack
Sae aabody got somethin fae the pyoke on postie's back.


There wis a warlock tried tae makk
A spell tae gar the lichtenin crack
Bit fin he steered his muckle pot
A drap o rain wis aa he got

Till he can turn cheese tae chakk
He's weirin L-plates on his back



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