Kelsey, A Poem Poem by Angela Bontle Ditumiso

I've come to associate home with people who make me feel alive, wanted, significant, an old piece that has a part in a puzzle, not just useless and disposable. I have lost count of the many homes I have because there are many, I wonder if that's the reason I'm losing everything precious lately, are all the best parts of me hanging from walls as photographs?
Is the past bleeding into my present because it needs healing? Can't it just linger in hiding like it has for the past seventeen years? Does my mind think I'm finally ready to face all the things I've been running from?

I have found home in you, it's where I rant, cry and tell all, you're the pillow I chant my secrets into, for that, I can't help but associate you with anchors and lifelines and lifeboats and oxygen. And if closets have lungs and they breathe, then you are my very own closet for in you I've tucked in many of my skeletons. Oh my dear closet, how many more can you take before you cave in? Maybe I'm at the edge of collapse because there's need for a garage sale but how do I begin to take all this darkness into the day?

There's a little girl in me fighting to live these days and she's fighting so hard my lights are dimming, I'm starting to feel like my body is a haunted house but you bring me light somehow maybe because you're a fragment of the sun, can't help but bring life everywhere you allow yourself to be. Since I've found you I'm a homeless man back on his feet, I feel less scared, less scarred, less alone, less misunderstood, I feel necessary.

Who do we owe thanks to if not God? He gave me you, a friend I was scared to befriend. I remember the many times I wanted to say hi but decided against it, with each time my heart lodging in my throat, darn, you're intimidating! Anyway, Lover if I had to choose between you and oxygen I'd choose you, that's how important you are to me. Thank you for you but mostly thank God!