Legality Poem by Ash Desrocher

The situation,
under wraps,
unable to be conversed about.
My trauma,
held from me,
taken from my vocal cords,
swallowed,
along with my pride.

Unable to post or share my story,
of what a family member,
older than me by two years,
did to harm me,
in so many ways than just sexually.
Telling my family that I did it,
that I said yes,
like I didn't freeze up and tears didn't fall,
as if I didn't whisper and scream the word 'no',
like it was MY IDEA of fun,
and like I didn't just want to watch a movie.

People believed you,
people understood you,
they thought it was all my fault,
like I held all the fault,
but in reality my biggest regret,
was not calling the cops on your ass,
as soon as I got away from you.
My biggest regret was trying to hold back the tears,
while talking to that CPS worker,
who definitely sided with you,
even after hearing my side,
even after no one sided with me,
and no one allowed me to speak for myself.

I guess legality will always be legality,
but I won't let my presence or my story be anonymous,
I won't let you get that satisfaction,
of having power over my body,
and my voice.