Len Webster's 'What He Knows' Poem by Len Webster

He knows that
bicycles aren't mainly found in undredged canals
skeletons won't be found in graveyards
or ashes in tea urns in a front room

He knows that
fountain pens live in drawers
but nobody remembers sideboards any more

He knows that
terrorists are found in the heads of prophets
and cartoons in the heads of men

He knows that
you shouldn't love your neighbour
because you'll end up cutting the hedge
every week in the summer

He knows that
cars are only wanted by lunatics
salivating at the thought of saying how
much was knocked off for cash

He knows that
perambulators fell out of style
because no-one could spell them
or get them on a bus

And he knows that
during sex contraceptives burst
at the crucial point
but the morning-after pill is best swallowed whole