Life Becomes Meaningless The Day I Can'T See You Poem by Sam Arjomandi

Life Becomes Meaningless The Day I Can'T See You

Rating: 3.5


Every time I see you in your tight blue jean
I lose my mind; you know what I mean

Jean looks nice just on your body
When it comes to beauty contest, you are second to nobody

I enjoy listening to your nice voice when you talk
Baby, you drive me crazy the way you walk

Every thing looks so fine about you
Even the flowers in the garden are jealous of you

My heart beats faster my blood pressure goes up, every time I look at you
Doctor tells me I could die, if I do not stop seeing you

Poor doctor was ok, until his eyes fell on you
Now he has my problem, since the time he saw you

I know for sure I will die, if I stop seeing you
Life becomes meaningless, the day I can not see you

COMMENTS OF THE POEM
Greenwolfe 1962 22 June 2008

Technically, this is not a very good poem. The repeated use of 'you 'is OK, as long as it's always used, but it wasn't. That's bad. There are a few well rhythmed and rhymed lines but that's about it. The message was not the best either as was reflected in the poor ending. GW62

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