Longing For Freedom Poem by Kiran Pillai

I am aiming for freedom. Freedom for myself
And freedom to live a proper family life.
Life holds me on many sides bound.
I know not what mindsets to break.

Freedom is really the Eight of Swords
I just know nothing holds me back. But,
I am attached to certain safety ideas.
Freedom from safety: That seems to be true.

I need to be free from ideas of safety.
Sometimes, it is good to take a huge risk
And jump. Into the darkness. Have jumped too.
Often the jumps land me in this state I am here.

I am ready for one more jump now. With grace.
Only grace holds me in these jumps. Not ego.
Previous jumps were running away from life.
I was surrendering to ego. Now it is for grace.

I may not know why I am looking for freedom.
What could motivate me for freedom? Peace?
I know not what is the freedom that I look for.
I just long in my heart for freedom now. Freedom!

Beautiful ideas of freedom is what I grew up with.
All countries have had their freedom struggles.
Ideas and revolutions arrived from freedom.
Is there more to look at freedom now?

I don't know if any conflict or revolution might
Arise out of my struggle for freedom. Maybe
I might just dissolve in this ocean of bliss.
Maybe I may cease to exist. Just stop.

Freedom from all illusions is what I seek.
I want no delusion to stop me from feeling free.
I want nothing to stop me from connecting up.
Does that require me to move some place?