Lost In The Dark Poem by Ambril Hutchinson

I'm lost in the dark as time drags by,
smoke in my lungs just to quiet the noise in my mind.
Who am I supposed to be
when everyone I cared about has died inside me?

I'm lost in my mind—no, I'm losing it fast,
watching myself disappear day by day in the glass.
I speak but it cracks, it don't land, it don't stay,
even love at my side can't pull me away.

Not even my husband can say I'm okay,
words fall like ashes then fade away.
I'm screaming in silence that nobody hears,
turning my pain into rhythm and tears.

Who am I supposed to be, really?
When I don't recognize the version of me that's still me?
I'm here, but I'm gone, split down the seam,
living awake inside someone else's dream.