Love, I Will Always Be In Your Debt Poem by James Darwin Smith II

It was all started by spirit
Then the physical
Came right in
A bond so strong
As if nothing
Could ever go wrong
And paradise
Was always within our grasping


Never being afraid
To take down these walls
Being able to escape these thoughts
Taking them high up into the clouds
Flying higher and higher
Beyond and beyond out
While never looking down
From the fear of falling
Hard on a cold slab of regret


It was at one time unconditional love
The kind of love a lonely soul can only dream of
Never being judged harshly
Knowing perfection
Is paltry
As flaws
Are the source
That builds
Character all from within

Yet things went for the worst


The world, this world
Spun off its axis
And things began
To thrust upon this gut
Penetrating these feelings
Against the will of what was soon to come


A stabbing of the stomach
A sickening sense of suffrage
Feeling something wrong
The beginning
Of many years
I took in my own solitary confinement
Yearning these feelings away


Certain memories
They all came back
When I ran into a poem
You had written to me
Long ago
When our love
Seemed so unbreakable
As we celebrated in our own utmost consent


But a few years after
The worst heart break of my life
I found finding myself
Never missing you
The extreme judgmental mess you became
That holier than though attitude


And I know for you
There is no turning back
From the many differences
That erased us from
A certain time
When we thought our dreams would live on
Intertwined into always, forever to beyond


I was over you
So long ago
After I realized
How wishy washy you had become


I have no thoughts
On what might have been
Because I know now
We would have probably been miserable
By the small differences you let become
Gigantic in a senseless act of your own disillusion


That poem I read now
I smile and give thanks
Not to you
But that moment
When the spirit of love
Gifted me with something
I surely will know I will feel again
In fact probably feel even more
With someone who will accept me
For whom I am
Respecting me in my own ways
All in the natural sense
Of empowering
All the things made from good intentions


I swam in your deep waters
And at the time I was feeling great
The best feelings ever felt


But I realized by you letting me go
You gave me an endless favor


Because the time I spent mourning your love
I ended up realizing
You would have drowned
Me with the doubts you always
Let fester within you
Without ever knowing
That you had a means of escaping
The emotions that always
Tore you a part all from within


And now as I keep moving on
I realize these thoughts
Needed to go back
To show me
How strong I have become


Still I am full of love
Celebrating in its true form
With no desperation
Of wanting it again
As ride in this life
Seeing where I shall go from here


It is all a catharsis
Of resetting this heart
To its strongest form yet

Beginning with an epiphany
That guides intuition towards its highest pinnacle
Of an apprenticed success


When I run into the true greatest of love
It will be organic and full of hope
Never showing any doubt
Always being open
Towards the battle of enduring life
By ways of two hearts winning


It is all about the spirit
The genesis of what love truly is


I am not thinking of anyone in particular
It is all about loving love
And promising
And I will always
Give it
My very best

Of myself
As I will always be in its debt


Love, in all of its many forms
Will always guide me through life
And for that
I will always feel blessed


Love, I will always be in your debt