Lyf... Poem by NIKHIL SHRIVASTAVA

i m lost...lost in myself...deep within in d dark...i m confused...i m trapped...trapped in a conflict...of mind n body...i see nostalgic dreams..
n then they vanish..in my dreams..i shout..i cry..i fly..i m scared..scared of myself...my memory...
so gloomy...so dark....but they r real...only in my dreams...i m in pain..pain i cant feel...but i see...i see them..feels like déjà vu...only its true...
n this twinge..i m helpless...like a baby..who can cry..cry but not express d pain...i m dying by d virtue of my own sins...which i did nt intend 2
...but they happened..n i m sorry..but i cant b..coz i cant speak...n if i could..things would have been different...i weep...i sob..i howl..in vain...i m drowning....
in d ocean of lunacy....i m going 2 explode...i run...run 4 my life...too late...i plunge in this dark trench...i leap...i shout.. then i realize...
realize d veracity...that nostalgic dream...was not a dream..n this is who i m...it was real...n all dis time i was awake...i see d funny side...then i smile..
i giggle...i snigger...laugh my stomach out...sometimes i go back 2 d pain...but d pain is 2 unbearable...2 agonising 2 think...so i laugh...n d pain fades..
fades in d joy...d ecstasy of mind...i feel good...2 see stars dazzle...only its sunlight in d sky...n i feel good...about who i m...only i m nothing...a
withered rock...who has seen d wrath of tym...n has succumbed 2 d pain...den i fall...fall on d ground...n cuddle...cuddle like a baby...n i want 2 go
back 2 the time...when life was not such a mess...when each step was not a mountain...n when i was not a slave...slave 2 my plight...i sleep...
sleep 2 sanity...next day...next day i do it again...coz its d only thing that keeps me human...else i m a lifeless body....
i roll...i put...n i fly...! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !