Making Pastry's Not My Thing Poem by Ray Feasey

Making pastry is not my thing
I had a go and now give in
It’s easy water butter and flour
Mix to a thick and doughy paste
Add more flour just in case!

It’s perfect now and thick enough
So it’s time to make a ball of the stuff
Then roll I out to the size of a plate
And put it on the pie bowl and wait
But nothing it seems goes to plan

This sticky dough’s stuck to my hands
More flour, more flour and fingers wiped
But now the rolling pins stuck tight
It’s everywhere and such a mess
I cannot deny it’s not my best

A simple piecrust was all I tried
Yet this simple task has dented pride
It seemed so easy when I read the book
Of famous chef who’s advise I took

Ultimately it went on the pie and in the oven
It became so dry and burnt on top
Not golden brown, just black as charcoal
A damaged crown

Removed and thrown into the bin
The chicken pie’s now in casserole tin
And salvaged as a meal no less
Would my guests ever really guess?

Copyright © 2008 Ray Feasey