Mary Is An Ugly Girl Poem by joni frog

mary is an ugly girl with warts upon her nose.
how she had got pregnant well no one really knows.

'it must have been a miracle' all the local people said.
an immaculate conception had taken place inside her bed.

news then reached the vatican and the ears of the pope.
and catholics around the world awaited christ with hope.

mary was well cared for while awaiting the second coming.
the docs had checked her over and there was nothing wrong with her plumbing.
deliverance day arrived, to deliver us from our sins.
but to everyones astonishment mary delivered twins.

this now posed a question 'which one's the new messiah? '
or there was the possibility that mary could be a liar.

mary did indeed hide a lie that she'd not told to any other.
the truth she hid from everyone was she wasn't the virgin mother.

so mary announced to everyone ' i really must confess'
'i signed up with bupa and ive had ivf'