May 16,2008 Poem by Rachel Martin

i give him my heart. i tell him not to hurt it. but yet i put in too much trust. so he left my heart behind to rust. as the wind blows, it covers my heart deeper and deeper into the ground. but i keep my head up, trying so hard not to break down. but it's hard...without you. i can never get over what we had. what we made. what [ i pray] we will be. husband and wife for life. but i have this doubt. i see you with her. and ponder over the difference? what does she have that i don't? i did my best. even at my worst. i was there for you. tear after tear fell down my face. i felt so stupid, so dumb. i didn't want to believe it. but i was losing my mind. but most importantly. i was losing you...i never wanna go back. to the lonely nights. with thoughts all through my head. i wished i would curl up in a ball and just play dead. but i was tired of playing. i want to quit the game. but it's a shame. i studder everytime i say your name. blinking back the tears. . .watch as the fears that hide in so deep. rise to the surface to take a peek. they change my life. so did you. not for the worse. my life couldn't be any better. with me and you together...