Memories To Bury Myself Alive Poem by Andrus Cassian

Memories To Bury Myself Alive



'I DEFY YOU STARS! ! ! ! JULIET! ! ! ! JULIET! ! ! !
The sun to rise above all others
Gracing Earth with its mere presence
Eclipsing all other beauty to befall my weary eyes
Has set for the final time, has at last burnt out
The make believe picture we painted
Of us seated upon a bench
Twixt a field of budding roses in loving embrace
Cascaded into a paper plane taking off into the night
While I, fast asleep, too slow to capture it once again
Such is the dreaded fate of me
A cruel joke it was seen as at first
For it was the Holiday of Fools
But as light shown through the blinds
Truth awoke from its shadowy dream
A permanent, blatant blow to the heart
Disastrous, catastrophic, personal doomsday'
Here, this day, I die; deceased
Please, don't look at me
See the tears rain down from my cheeks
I only hope I am deceived
Some miscommunication of the letter
Though as far as I know
She has never directed a lief towards me
This is not a farse, just a confirmation of my greatest fears
How could I have missed the signs, the signals
How high are my blinders
She plainly, blantantly spoke of how we were destined to be separate
We were never meant to be
It was all a fairytale made up in my own head
Three and a half years of my life labeled regretfully wasted
And once again, thrice is my unholy, cursed number
Memories, I bury myself alive in them
Bury myself alive underneath the songs I've dedicated
Bury myself alive underneath the laughing times
The sad and loving times
Everything left of us is being swept away by the broom of recognition
She is now my past
And I'm among the company of dirt
Being thrown away with the trash
My love for her lit the night sky with tiny stars
A mosaic in the heavens
But the angel in my dreams
Has become a delusion in reality
I am now the archangel falling slowly back to my hole in the ground
The grass, my permanent burial ground since I refuse to get up again
Juliet, she has stolen my legs
I have lost the will to stand up again
Juliet, she has taken back her gifts to me: my eyes
No matter; I'd rather remain blind
Before I wake up and start to scream
This has to be a dark dream...
'I DEFY YOU STARS! ! ! ! '
JULIET! ! ! ! COME BACK! ! ! ! !
COME BACK, JULIET, COME BACK! ! ! ! !
JULIET! ! !
Juliet...I am but copper and she, a fist full of gold
She has the tendency to grow old with happiness
While I'm subject to mold
Juliet...she was my fantastic garden of serenity and Overwhelming beauty
I can't tell anyone enough
She was the delicate hummingbird I adored
In her presence, I was a glorious prince
But my title: stripped, removed; what am I now
I am a bridge struggling not to collapse
The wooden boards creak and ache from age
A one-sided war so plain
Juliet, my princess...Juliet, my life...
Now she is intertwined in another, destined a wife, engaged
While I insist in becoming tape so I don't unravel and waste away
But I'd rather disassemble where I plant my feet
Than witness her in a wedding dress, coated in white and bright smiles
Hearing the wedding bells sing our starting love song to my misery
A happy ceremony meant for the abundance of two
But I am the loneliest number and it tears me up
1, never to be 2 again
But I feel like a zero

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