Mending A Grudging Mind Poem by Andrus Cassian

Over...and over...and over...and over
Why do you keep doing this
why must you insist to interfere
why won't you disappear
Why? ! WHY? ! ! ! ANSWER ME! ! ! !
Oh so now when I demand answers you're sound asleep
put your head upon a glacier
a head so heavy you've created a snowstorm over me
I feel the bitter coldness you place upon me
Fine! HERE!
Eat these rocks for dinner, eat all of it, even the dirt underneath
hopefully you can feast upon that instead of my sorrows, my misery
YOU'RE NOT HELPING ME! ! !
You only bother to enter my world to give me pleasantries
so sweet oh but for a day
for an hour, a small moment
before you'll move back the screen, a full screen arena
like curtains in a play
and show how much my world is burning, crumbling
how my rage and regrets
my sorrow and sickness encompasses me
and you sit idly by saying nothing
watching, waiting for the screams to stop
for me to sit quietly and let someone else scream in my defense
while you do nothing to console me
Why won't you do something
interfere when necessary since you know I've been asking
no, pleading with urgency for better days
this despair, this rage is eating me alive
a ghost devouring on a human's soul
I've been pleading for a better way to earn my way to a new life
full of peace and happiness I don't have to cease being alive to fulfill
What doesn't kill you makes you stronger
Bah! what hasn't killed me has made me indifferent
while my nightly dreams continue to concoct different formulas to remove me from this world
to have me suffocate in agony as the world turns gray amidst the popping of my final breath of air in a form of a giant bubble
How dare I shout my frustrations at you
my growing frustrations lining the insides of my stomach as for years I've held my tongue
ask the sibling you dared to take from me
ask the sibling I'll never lay eyes upon again
AHHHHHHHHHH! ! !
Why do you do these things to me
Why is it me...
don't smite me, just hear me out
hear out my complaints of the world I once wish to revolutionize
now I just see revolutions as a joke
empty inside
here me vent, maybe I'll start to mend
this, my one grudge against you
someone I don't even know...