Mendacity - Poem by Tracy Craighead
"Mendacity' as Tennessee would say,
The lies that preface my every waking day
Webs so tangled, I will never see,
the clear path to an unfettered reality.
'Mendacity" reigns solid on a throne
upon which we will worship and hope
that all of our dreams will come true,
but mendacity is a whore…
one whom we can never pay…
And still…My soul is weary, my heart is weak
and into this narrative, more sadness must creep.
It was always there, latent and still,
but burning with a searing pain…
On fire, christened with fear and love,
and still, I try to choose my words
with a tempered trepidation.
Bluntly stated, with all editing aside,
"you are a liar, " but a well-respected man.
A father to the many, but you love just a few,
and I want to know who they are?
What did they do,
to be loved so very much by you?
How did I miss the mark?
Did I not measure up?
Or, perhaps… just a thought… Was it you?
Your many imperfections,
did they cloud your vision?
I have to know that it wasn't me,
please tell me… at the very least
I was a little worthy
of love and respect,
and of acceptance
and not of absolute reject?
Please give me a morsel, a line, a tidbit
Show me a sign of your pride
or of your neglect,
show me something, anything
other than your tangled web…
your well-crafted art to deceive…
I desperately need some love, some sympathy…
but as I will continually see, I must live with the hidden…
the mendacity…lies…No respect
Unloved, and lifeless…
finding happiness in the illusion
….of your kindness.
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