Mind Streams (After 2 O'Clock) Poem by Eman Awad

Some times when this world tires me,
and i run out of words and solutions.
And i wish to go to where i can be,
freed, from all the lies and illusions.
I run off and hide in my shell,
that little hiding place changing with time.
That place that i love to dwell,
it used to be my dreams or a love of mine.
I run away just to be my self again,
i am the one who wants nothing but a normal life.
But i'm not destinated to be sane,
all i wanted was to be a secured child and a loving wife.
My heart was broken and my eyes did cry,
and non of my wishes came true for my wonder.
Once i seeked love for you and i,
but love was never a given option to me and i wonder...
Will i find salvation one day?
some thing that belongs to me, some thing unique.
Will i travel some where far away?
some where magical and happiness i'd not have to seek.
I wish that my mom loved my dad,
more than she did, actually more like a fairy tale.
So that they would never be sad,
never fight and that their marrige would never fail.
And no man is an island but you are,
you never loved me as much as i loved you.
I called you out but you was so far,
that my voice died before it can reach you.
I wish that i was some one else but me,
that i'd always make my family so proud of what i do.
But i knew that i'm not perfect and i'll never be,
just a simple girl who lives till her life is through..
And that my poetry changed the world,
into a better place for us to live in in peace.
Get a nobel prize and say a humble word,
for that increadible book from my release.
And where ever i go, people call my name,
but i'm too ordinary to make a simple change.
If you never loved me, you're not to blame,
my life was always some one else's arrange.
I know i'll marry that person that i'll never love,
and have little children to carry his name like any wife.
He maybe kind, nice, gentle and maybe tough,
but i don't love him and i never wished to share his life.
Sorry my heart isn't mine,
actually, it never was but now i don't have a hiding place.
My shell was broken by the time,
and the cold out side played with my mind and paled my face.
Those were just some words and a dead dream,
i'm not that upset, i'm dead a long time ago.
Those were just another mind stream,
i couldn't control it and it didn't let go...