Mister Lattimer explained Poem by Kevin Hulme

He's seen daily fashioned in a tailored Herringbone Suit,
School Tie ‘Windsor Knotted',
And a polished Chelsea Boot.
With all ‘Hello' ‘ Thank You's' ‘How Terribly Kind',
And a toast to the Monarch When he serves up the Wine.

He prefers to see Cricket than kicking a Ball,
Willow on Leather and the Umpires call.
To rise to the Anthem before every game,
And today's Popular Music all just sounds the same.

With the Renaissance Old Masters all grandeur does lie,
This most Modern of Art is an affront to the eye.
The ‘Sistine Madonna' alights the Clouds like the Sun,
Those bored dear Putti see the style yet to come.

He'll have no Lady stand near in want of a dance,
Chocolates and Roses to seal the Romance.
And off to ‘The Pictures' for a film with Hugh Grant,
No ‘Goodfellas' tale and a Profanity rant.

‘Grace' before meals and to use the right spoon,
‘Oh would you excuse me' when leaving the room.
He'll pass the Port left and never the Right,
Hayes ‘Yellow Eyed God' is the Poem to recite.

When the Sabbath swings by a Church visit he'll pay,
For the Spirituality of all we do gather to Pray.
Tip a hat to the Spinsters who venerate there,
With a talk of Remembrance that they mutually share.

I suppose he's old fashioned, a tad out of date,
It's often been said he was born Centuries late.
But this is the man, all Standards laid bare,
A regular old gent with Brilliantine hair.