Mom. I. Hate. You. Poem by Desiree Whitamore

i know now that i hate you
for everything you've done
i'm moving past appreciation
because you're forcing me to run

i hate the little secrets
you've always kept from me
saying this and that from time to time
its the point you just can't see.

i hate you for lying
and raising me by yourself
i hate that i'm seeing you
every place that i need help.

i hate the way you laugh
and yell at me outta spite
i hate the way you sound
when you get home late at night.

i wanna run away
and i would if i had the heart
i'd rather just not see you
and leave you, for once, in the dark.

i hate you so much you don't know
and i'm not thankful at all for you
you're giving me nothing to work with
at least you could give me the truth

because its not ok to call me
and say you're not coming straight home
its not okay to leave me
just waiting beside the phone

and this mom-daughter relationship
is not what its meant to be
the bonds been broken for years
since you stopped doing whats best for me

and no, you haven't called
or listened to what i've said.
you haven't even asked
whats going through my head

because when you yell at me
and tell me how worried you've been
you're being a frickin hypocrite
while we have this fight again.

i'm forced to be silent
and pretend i don't know at all.
and thats pushing me away
and assisting in my fall.

both of my parents are failures
please just get me out of here.
i need to run away from them
before i run out of years.

and i feel embarrassed by you
when they have to come spend the night
because you're out partying and drinking
and throwing away our life.

i feel sickened and disgusted
because i'm so messed up
and you'd think you'd hear me
you'd think it'd be enough.

this 'poem' could go on forever
believe me, i have time.
but you just downplay all of it.
and one day it won't be fine.