.........Mostly, A 'Richard Pryor' Type Of Eulogy! Poem by elysabeth faslund

Mostly, from a Richard Pryor, comic 'sermon'...
----------...
'Our text for today is...
*Porter! Git down nat coffin! *
'Our text for today is, our
Dearly departed...He was

'Dearly, and he has departed.
Didn't think you was evah
Gonna die, didga, Porter...?
Our broken, stained glass is lettin

'The sun...can I get an AMEN! ...is
Shinin on dis heah dead Porter...
*Porter! Close dat lid! NOW! *
The rain shinin on him too!

'Pass the collection plate for panes!
What ah sayin? ...got it now...
Dis heah Porter loved to port...AMEN! ! !
And, if you think we gonna bury

'You, wid dem gold teeth, ya got nother
Thing comin! No fool, like a dead fool...
AMEN! Sisters and Brothers!
His woman, dats her ovah da in...GIRL! ! !

'Well don't sell nuthin in heah! ! !
If you do...I want a CUT! ! !
You dah reason dis Porter dead...!
Hadn't caught you sneakin around....!

'My Brethren! pass dat plate agin!
Seems our 'dearly' didn't have enough
Tah git buried fit and proper!
YOU! In dat back pew...you, his only

'Friend! I saw dat quarter you give!
Ante UP! AMEN! Let's turn our
Text to...wait a minute...turn our Text
To..Lazarus, ole boy...ya'll

'Know dat boy...arise one too many
Times! Now he under GOOD!
Took wine wid him, too! Happy
In his cave...like dis heah....

*PORTER! ! ! You be dead! Florist
And CSI tole me so! Git dat
Coffin lid DOWN! Swear tah gawd!
Break ya fingers, if I gotta do it! *

'Breathren...let us bow our wigs,
Heads, whatevah ya got handy...
Put DOWN dem wine bottles! Ain't
No cause for celebration of

'Porter departed...AMEN! ! !
But, while those bottles being
Blessed in dis here congregation...
Pass ME 12 dem bottles!

'Can I get AMEN! ! !
Shout it, Brethren!
AMEN! ! !
Our last Text today is...

'Before dat ice cream truck
Hauls Porter off...told ya'll...no
Money...is...Porter's untimely
Death...Death of untimely...

'Gimme those bottles o wine agin...
In wine is truth...'