Mr. P Poem by Mark J. Schulte

Mr P, who shall remain nameless, was our fifth grade teacher. He was obese and sedentary to the point of being a rather lazy teacher - hence our poem, composed by my classmate, Bruce Stroh and me when we were 11. And apologies to Joyce Kilmer.


Mr. P

I think that I shall never see
A man as fat as Mr. P.

A man whose hungry mouth is pressed,
against cheese, baloney and all the rest.

A man who eats all day and night;
And what he eats is such a fright.

A man whose girth has amply spread,
with mass consumption of pasta and bread.

Poems are made by fools like him;
but only God could make HIM slim.