Mrs Mctavish Poem by GRANT FRASER

Mrs Mctavish
I heard today was dead,
Now she's went to heaven
to join her fat stinky tomcat
Pinky, yes she left the planet
very recently...

She lived next door with her
husband Mack, who was always away
at sea and never coming back,
yet when he did, there was lots
of shouting, things got smashed!

They had a daughter with short
red hair and freckles,
she looked hard and boyish,
I used to go into their house
and it always smelt a bit whiffy!

One time I go so mucket,
Mrs Mctavish had me strip
completely
'fit il yr Ma think? ',
and washed me down with
a big yellow sponge,
standing with feet in a
plastic orange basin,

Her man Mack was raving back,
between football roars on t.v.

Another time, my older brother
and I, took a pot shot at Pinky,
with a gat,
he was doing his high wire act
outside on the balcony,
his coat went all frizzy,
he didn't go over...
but spat and spat,
I felt bad after that!


Mrs Mctavish had no lips
so she always clarted on
more lipstick,
she wore big heavy coats,
had large calves,
her handbag always looked
like it was going to snap!

When she mopped the outside
steps, wore her flowery pinny,
'ye better use the ither eens,
than clatter these with yr
foul sheen...'

I didn't mind really,
until she caught us playing
doctors with Karen,
who gave us salty kisses...

Stinky Pinky died one day,
he was so big,
like a fat red matted
mountain cat,
I missed him after that,
the gloopy meows,
his attention seeking,
curling around your leg
as if you were a cushion,

Anyway there you go,

Mrs Mctavish I was wrong
has not left the fold,
or joined the stars and many
more,

but I just thought I'd say
hello,
if your out there somewhere...