My Best Friend Pt 1 Poem by E R

My feelings for you won't let me feel, but I'm fine.
You are the focus of every talk, your voice echoing over mine.
If I could scream at you I would but ur hurting so that's not okay.
But if nothing was wrong you would still find a way.
to make me seem small. Like a singular grain in a beach full of sand.
if I were to scream I would say, without judgment or cruelty I pray
Your misery is contagious, you're not there for me.
I feel alone in a world you own.
You're supposed to be my best friend but you shouldn't make me feel this way.
Like I'm not important I'm just here to make sure ur okay.
A side character, a pet, but far from a person. This dehumanizing effect you give off is exhausting.
I'm busy attending to the one arrow wound so graciously placed on your back.
when there's ten arrows piercing my heart, all from ur attack.
I can't survive like this for much longer, my hearts bleeding out.
The poisonous jealousy bleeding from ur heart is beginning to show.
Maybe others will notice I hope.
The worst thing of all is that you're so pure.
You're loving and kind and this hurts more.
What hope can I have if you're the best I've got.
Still I'm filled with guilt for even having these thoughts.
Cause although my hearts breaking apart.
It still seeks your love even though I've fought
Nothing can stop me from holding you close. Not with everyone I know loving you most.