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My Blind Date - Poem by VICTORIA GEORGE

I bought a lamp and a tray
From a seller who sounded okay
We started to chat, and he told me that
He had a great job with good pay

He sounded like my kind of guy
Although maybe just a bit shy
A marine engineer with a showbiz career
As a hobby on the side

We agreed to go on a date
I must say I just couldn’t wait
I opened the door and nearly fell through the floor
He looked like he’d slept in a crate

He was sitting outside on the wall
He was probably around five feet tall
A scalp mainly bare, with some ginger hair
And his suit was two sizes too small

I was in for a bit of a shock
His real name was Reggie Small-Cock
He’d told me that Shane was his stage name
He’d take me along for a look

We went to the “Apple and Fig”
Where he told me he had a gig
He got the hand mike, then to my fright
He put on an old Elvis wig.

He murdered some great Elvis tunes
Jailhouse Rock, Hound Dog and Blue Moon
I couldn’t take more, I ran for the door
He came after me and he crooned:

“Love Me Tender Love Me Slow
Please don’t run away
I know I’m just a a big Ze-ro
But love me any-way”

That sad little f*rt almost melted my heart
With his sentimental charms
Those puppy dog eyes, even with their red styes
Had me almost in his arms

When I sobered up I drank a whole cup
Of cold water laced with some gin
I went home, disconnected the phone
And never used eBay again

copyright Victoria George

Comments about My Blind Date by VICTORIA GEORGE

  • (7/1/2008 5:51:00 AM)

    Amusing poem, I enjoyed it! It reminds me of a girl that looked like Reggie... who courted me instead! I made me crazy thinking about it! A 10. (Report) Reply

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Poem Submitted: Saturday, June 21, 2008

Poem Edited: Wednesday, July 23, 2008

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