My Falling Star (Dad) Poem by Joni Moosman

I cry I am here, I am here!
Beneath our God's vast and eternal frontier.
Whispering good morning like I do.
Then I see you fly your course true.
A flaming star through the Starry Plough.
I smile, cause I know it's you calling back to me.
Then you disappear in the dawn calmly.

There in the dark each star becomes a teardrop blur.
Each teardrop I eat with maple and brown sugar.
A silver tablespoon of half and half to make it taste good.
Swirl it around in a bowl of memories of my childhood.
My Milky way of sorrow and regret.

My small hand in your big hand as you pointed them out.
Sisters Seven, Orion the Hunter, The Dipper, and the North Star a true route.
You spoke to me of Kolob the star closest to the thrown of God.
Please take my hand now and help me hold on to his iron rod.

Out on the lawn I would crawl into my sleeping bag, and the world was right.
While they sung me to sleep in the summer night.
Their celestial song was so beautiful to me.
Could a wild child be more free.
Dad you never let me call you Father,
because you said God was our only Father
So I never did…
You were always Daddy or Dad.

My small hand in your big hand, each Sunday morning.
We would sit on the hard wooden pews, which sometimes were so boring.
You would trace the lines like constellations over and over again.
And then you would say my life line was long.
It always seem as though my hand fascinated you like a stellar song.
They were just a smaller version of my Mothers.

Later through a wedding veil I saw the tears in your blue eyes.
When your hand again took my smaller hand, you made me cry.
That was the day you gave me away to Ken
Your hands did so many things for me.

So my smaller hand holds on to your larger hand,
Peaceful as you walk through a heavenly door
My heart is breaking like a glass bead on a cement floor.
Just wanting to hold on to something I can't have.

There will never be a good-bye for us.
Just that I love you, my falling star.
And then your larger hand can take my smaller hand again,
and give me back to Ken.