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My Only Choice Is To Leave

Rating: 4.8
The editing of my heart is what you did
Catching errors with critiques, taking notes, ignoring me
You read me well like a manuscript
You knew I was weak from the start
But you didn’t want to fix the damages

How you sent my mind into malnutrition
Depriving me of your love
Killing my spirit quickly
Your angry words piercing my heart like ammunition
Gunning me down as I search for a sedate place in my mind
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COMMENTS
Martin A. Ramos 13 January 2006
Such profusion, and verve. And you definitely have a gift for metaphor. Good metaphors are so difficult to create: e.g., 'the Zion of the waterbead, ' 'the awful daring of a moment's surrender, ' 'the audacity of her sleep, ' 'not even the rain has such small hands.' You are great a this, judging how readily you pile them on. I wonder, have you considered writing in a fix form? I'm curious to see if you can bring such power to, say, the sonnet form. Best, Martin
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***** ********* 12 January 2006
You are absolutely right Face Butter! The only choice and I am sure you did! Great read,10 from Tai
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