There is so much going on that I can’t make right
So many phones calls about another fight
Its hard sometimes to be so strong
So many come to me with things so wrong
Its getting hard not to cry
To them I help but to me I lie
I’m always happy to their belief
Only because I have my sense of relief
The only way I know how to deal
It going numb and with nothing to feel
Sometimes I wonder how I smile
After everything that’s been going on for a while
I get so dizzy from time to time and can’t see
Waking from the nightmares that seem to scare me
Like being suffocated and unable to breathe
Wanting to run but unable to leave
My sense of relief can’t wait much more
I want to hide in my room with a lock on the door
For no one to ever see or hear me scream
I hate this I want to wake from this dream
Feeling so very frustrated
Feeling even more degraded
Just take a break they say
It’s ok to walk away for a day
But fighting has become my obsession beyond belief
All this the cause of my sense of relief
Going numb and very cold
Holding everything tight in my hand
My pain has become a rejection
I block out all of the depression
Kicking the rocks on my broken road going somewhere
Unknown to anyone from here
Expressionless and emotionless to all
Knees shaking trying hard not to fall
I guess in my disbelief
I will never really find my sense of relief
