My Shame Poem by Diana van den Berg

I am ashamed
that I cried anguished tears
at the negligent damage
I did to the exhaust pipe
of my darling Gretta, the Jetta
… when five days before
the tsunami found,
devoured and disgorged
each of you and yours
like foul-smelling, repulsive vomit
and thousands of you died in unexpected terror
and thousands more will live forever with the horror
of searching amongst the stench
of hundreds of bloated, disfigured, rotting corpses
and rubble that was once treasured homes,
for family and friends and survivors,
your every atom of humanity
tortured shapeless beyond recognition.

I try,
but I cannot imagine
your thoughts strangled within your smashed, submerged, gasping heads;
your monstrous fears of an undeserved unknown;
your trauma taunting you into the decades ahead;
and your loss … your loss … your loss,

and here I am
crying about an exhaust pipe,
and going inside to eat and drink and read and live my life …
and I say I care!

(1 January 2005)