kendyll brown

Rookie (06.07.1993 / california, USA)

My Story - Poem by kendyll brown

Have you ever heard a story
that made you cry?
That sent a shiver down your spine?
A story that made you feel so greatful?

Well thats not me, heres my story........

i moved around to much to care
i finally got put
somewhere i didnt want
somewhere every one knew me
i was a child trying to run
run away from there
i was only so young
but i knew such pain
every single day
i was a child
who tried so hard
to protect my best friend
tried to get her away
from such a horror
a horror, even you dont want to see
the boy i wanted to protect her from
and even me
who made us a living nightmare
for what felt like years

My story tells
of a man who used his powers
to lie
to anybody near
the fear
the fear he made us feel, never goes away

such man
who created a pain
to inflict upon another
is not a man, he lives a monster

My past, my story to tell, i warn you is not a happy one
it may scare you....
i promise it still haunts me...........
knowing thaty a monster
took things away, that werent his to have
they were mine
an mine alone

he beat me till i could no longer see
and still yet we
hen id bleed
when i couldnt see
i couldnt move
the unthinkable thing
always happened
i suppose you can guess
what tat may be
....he raped me......

i cried for such a long time
the very first day
and every after
i cried till my ears rang
with screams
i cried past my burning eyes
as tears streamed down
i cried as my body ached
like a thousand needles

and i saw her cry too
i saw as the ground wass soaking up her tears

as we lay there
till our throat ran dry

a nightmare you'd say
its my past story i'll tell you
i 'll tell you of the horror
of the painfilled screams
of my body that ached
the way i couldnt even move
and of the yrs that i stayed
for i had no escape
no hero in a cape
nobody saw
no one cared
that i was alone
in the cold dreariness
in the night
broken and bleeding
torn and tattered
completly shattered

i donot belive
i slept any night
without such a fright
running through my veins
he thought to make again
on my forever long pain

i guess you could say i was only a child
in a dark dreary home
somewhere i did not belong
i wasnt where i longed to be
lost and gone..........

my story goes
as i grew older
of a pain that replaced the old
with another man
who said that life is cold
he told me
no one is ever around
made me see
not to trust not another soul

so he was like the other man
but the lesser of the two evils

he'd beat me
till i couldnt stand
told me there
is no candy land
nothing is nice
that there is no sugar or spice
he told me life is cruel and brutal
he said it cannot teach a thing but pain
and that is why he was doing it

an as he beat me
used me
there are some things that i had learned
i learned not to trust anyone
in a twisted time
i learned that noone cares
that they'll always leave
leave you blowing in the wind
like a tattered rag...
i learned to be numb
with every hit or blow
every kick or being choked
then i knew at least i was still alive
i learned to live with the pain
it was no longer a stranger to me
it was a friend
stayed by my side through the years
and made me strong
it even tought me a thing or two
about life and a way to live

but as my numbness wore away it led to a worse pain
to more terror and pain

like seeing blood run from my skin
feeling his hands upon my face
the everything all over the place

i guess i grew up and learned to fight
after being beaten every night
i suppose he was right
to make me fight

i know they were all wrong
they were not right
that even when my eyes grew tired an tight
i knew then that i wasnt that little girl anymore
the one who couldnt fight..........

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Poem Submitted: Tuesday, April 13, 2010

Poem Edited: Thursday, April 15, 2010

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