Nightly Routine Poem by Joshua Howell

Staring at the bottom of your glass
Wondering what comes after this
Take another drink
For all of those who feel bliss
Try to stand up
And fall back down in your seat
Your hands are shaking
You’ve finally been beat
You tried your best
But you came to fail
She has left you torn
Her ship has set sail
Throw your glass at the wall
Shed tear after tear
No one is here to comfort you
You are completely alone here
Drink directly from the bottle
Let the fire inside burn
Your vision gets blurry
Your heart begins to yearn
You stager over to the bathroom
Look yourself in the mirror
Punch and break the glass
Because it has never been so clear
Despite all your best efforts
You could not succeed
And everything you had to offer
She did not need
You snort an oxy
Your fingers already numb
You scream out her name
Hoping she will come
You question your existence
You curl up in your pod
Tears stream down your face
As you scream “There is no God”
You struggle to stand
You crawl over to your chair
She doesn’t think of you
She doesn’t care
You suppress your pain
With alcohol and pills
You read through your old conversations
Although it truly kills
This is what you do every night
You think about the urge to die
Living a life of alcohol and pills
And salty tears as you furiously cry
You crawl to your bed nearly unconscious
Your pillow as gracious as a dove
Realizing nothing in the world
Is worse than unrequited love