Lost are these words when the world turns to silence
Before long the aching of the heart speaks of penitence
That I have sunk ten thousands ships from my tears
Sunk down to the blackness; all I see, for all of fears
Alone I would rather be than to miss someone again
When I build my walls to hide this fact of my pain
That every time I trust, every time I love for a day
I open my eyes and realise that they are going away
In the end I am void of many faces lost and forgotten
About me in their lives moving too fast to be begotten
Every face I have touched and every heart I have held
I am left burning in the heat as I am forever unshelled
Of the warmth of human kindness turns it back on me
And walks away so distracted that they can never see
That I am not this one, of the surface being so to dwell
But a child who is weeping, crying, to escape this hell
As every where I turn to is another demon so to face
Abandoned and forgotten, never thought of by grace
So thus forever lonely when I have so much to give
But so only to be forced for my past history to relive
That my arms are open for the human loving embrace
As my hands are slapped away by the speed of the race
Of humanity that somehow left me behind in the rain
Constantly washing away my tears and hiding the pain
As I am criminalised by my every word uttered freely
What was it I did to be always judged so very harshly?
A voice of my mind says, my fault, my fault, my fault
Victimising myself again for the constant of onslaught
Of so many voices I can’t drown out anymore, anyway
Of strangers I can’t reach as all I love have gone away
Controlled by masters demanding strength I don’t have
I wish for sleep to escape the nightmares; all I now have
That these tears are my release from all of obligations
Forming the tide to which I must drown in frustrations
Or the alcohol to which I yield accelerates the emotion
That I feel so cold, so lost, so without your devotion
I wish to feel arms around me, to hold my soul again
So thus I so know I can hold you with tenderness’ gain
Never to leave you, never to hurt you, always to love you
To protect, to honour, to show I can be the man not blue
Or fathom a thought now so lost in uncertainty and fear
So this child can grow and yield a passion I can so steer
Away from the mistakes of my past and toward prosperity
So thus confine this pain to the bleakest pages of history
This poem has not been translated into any other language yet.
I would like to translate this poem