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Not A Lullaby

I need a lullaby
to smooth my mind
when I'm too afraid
to close my eyes

But the only one
that dances through my brain
is her lullaby
that drowns my soothing rain.

I need some rhymes
to calm me down
while thinking of
what have I done.

Oh, what have I done?
Nothing at all
Its just my inner soul
making me fall

I don't wanna eat
Im just staring at my plate
And thinking I don't deserve
Anything I have.

I'm making myself do
What I don't really want
And in the same time
Im breaking our bond

Those cliché lines
'Its me, not you'
making me cry
and laugh loud, too.

I feel like psycho
between two walls
I hear voices
and follow all the calls

I can't resist
her sweet lullabies.
Her jail is thin
I hear all her cries

I can't resist
she's breaking throught
making me reapeat
'Its me, not you.'
POET'S NOTES ABOUT THE POEM
I wrote this one when I was undecided about breaking up with my ex-boyfriend. I didn't want to hurt him, but I had to decide and this poem helped me a lot.
The 'SHE' I am referring to in this poem is my so-called other part which tempted me to cheat on him and even though I didnt do that, I knew my mind was trying to tell me that I need a change and that the fact I am attracted to somebody else means that the man I was with does not make me happy enough. He was amazing, but I needed to move on.
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4/12/2021 8:46:50 AM # 1.0.0.559