Rookie (June 9,1983 / Jersey City, NJ)

Not A Necessity - Poem by SARAH A. STRUSZCZYK

Beyond all my thoughts
My mind is still boggled
Trying to fight the shove I feel
And trying to keep my emotions bottled
Remembering our times together
Remembering the good with the bad
Wishing I hadn’t stuck around so long
Then I wouldn’t be so sad
The shit that hurts the most
Are the lies I still continue to hear
The empty promises you try to provide me with
Month after month; and year after year.
You sit there quietly with no words to say
And then you wonder why I’m leaving
You’re letting me walk away.
Taking for granted that I’d always be around
In the back of your mind this you believe
Sitting there trying to act like you’re sad
Telling your self I’ll never leave.
But I can’t shake these thoughts
They keep coming back into play
Remembering when you’d choose booze over me
Remembering all the bitches you try to get with
You got balls for wanting me to stay
I read a quote a few days back
And the words were refreshing to my mind
How can I ever find Mr. Right? If I hold on to Mr. Wrong…
I need to remember what I deserve and not what I want.
You are a want, not a necessity
I deserve better for my daughter and me.

June 30,2008

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Poem Submitted: Monday, June 30, 2008

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