Nottingham Time Travellers Poem by Sheena Blackhall

1.Robin Hood
Jobs for men in tights? Restricted to the movies
The Royal Shakespeare, or the ballet companies
Perhaps a tourist guide within the city

Muggers like yourself….community service
Background reports…tagging and counselling

That's not a falcon soaring…it's a drone
To release your testosterone
Try zip wiring, paragliding, shooting
And archery. If you really must
Is that your hound? Have you picked up its poo?

2. Sheriff of Nottingham
Sorry your castle is closed for renovation
Paid for by lottery funding
CCTV has replaced your need for guards
The WCs are very PC too
Disabled, flushable, Baby changing loo
With your CV, you'd make a champion bouncer..

3.Friar Tuck
Have you tried the Dancing Dragon?
Halal meat? Or Jamaican cookery?
Polski fare? Perhaps the Chilli Hut?
A Pukka pie? A pizza? A nice kebab?
Washed down with a smoothie or a cappuccino?
And has your doctor checked for diabetes?

4. Maid Marian
Dear lady, you should go under the knife
A nip and tuck, a facelift, liposuction
Colonic irrigation, breast implants?
You're not the shy type, born for veil and cloister

That's if you really want to keep your Robin
Posh Spice and Becks of the mediaeval woods
(Doing it out of doors…the wild touch)
As a celebrity, the world's your oyster