O Said I To Myself To-Day Poem by Emmanuel George Cefai

O said I to myself to-day
As I was walking below the arches
Of Saint John’s Square in old Valletta
The air was lean; the clouds were mean
And frowning as I passed
By the shops, the restaurant, the shoe shops,
The clothes shops and the rest:
Then up to Zachary Street and more shops,
O I said to myself under the arches
If why so-called living things are as of sexes
Why females are as females, males as males
A book of Principles will open before me:
Let me explore and think and find Principles.
No sooner said than done.
On the damp earth made slippery by the rain
That slant-wise under the arches too had wetted
I was about to slip; O! my back
Have I broken my spine? Fear, fear, fear.
And in the trembling of that Fear saw I
The fading – for the moment – of my thinking.

*

O Saint John the Cathedral!
The night in the square I!
How wish to terrify!
Below the trees that cut
Now grow again
To be the home of the past homeless birds:
Temporary their exile from their berths.
So with us, . Humans.
Pain, suffering, imprisonment, auctions, Courts,
Marshals, police, hand-cuffs, cells, grating of iron,
The judges’ sentence, and the rest of paraphernalia
Are just the same as temporary in proportion direct
As cigars, automobiles of luxury, sedans, halls,
Palaces, lands, flats, projects, et ceatera, et caetera,
And as the high-dressed tail-coated presidents
Of States of courts, prime minister, ministers,
Cabinets and councils, tycoons and politicians,
Well need I continue with the list?
It is not worth such trouble being
Only so temporary.
Easy, my friend
Obvious, my friend, Doctor Watson
Said Sherlock Holmes
Easy.
Easy
Obvious.

*

I.
I that saw land upon the littered sky
The heavens, the embittered, disappointment
After disappointment – a photocopy
Of all my life –
I
Saw, I knew and I experienced.


*

Four thousand days or rather
Three thousand days – ten years:
My mother is already eighty-seven
And she is well nigh blind:
And she decays now day by day:
What will be in four thousand days
And three thousand days or more
Or less?

*

Then in the north sang the wind
Then from the north came the chill
And then the rain that formed a little rill
And splashed with rain-drops the dreamy window-sill
Yes dreamy! The housed dreamt and slept
When before their pining eyes wept
At the red dusk’s fall and passing
At the night unwelcome coming
At the grow popularity of night
As star by star he cunning light:
Then in the north sang the wind
Then from the north came the chill
And the rain formed (see above) a little rill.
Uli sere feri ghere
Pesi fere teli mere


*

Come through the fog that hangs!
Chilly ghost of the reel of the future;
Cut my hair now before it grows not
Cut it you will hold it
In a reliquary of forgotten humans:
Who strived not to be forgotten:
Who wrote, who thought, who asserted.
Come through the fog that hangs!
The clock of age is to be reverted as by magic.
Magic will be the mechanics by which the clock of age be reverted

*

The pulpit violet opens its mouth
That its petals (in as direct proportion) :
To-night I will recall some of Tolkien’s
Characters – o! call Kafka to the meeting:
Add, me to them and from our meeting
Let new forms and new characters arise
The profane crowd needs them; yes
Now more than ever; the rate of
Balance will be as directly proportional
Between the materialistic down
Down-to-earth characters and the magic characters:
All be that is asserted; so all characters
Magic and materialistic be
But the magic ones prefer we
We, Humans who dare to dream, and save ourselves
At the last moment.

*

You must be stronger that is more Machiavellian
To win this political chess in a democracy
Where the incumbent has the upper hand:
And is unashamed to use the upper hand:
You must never hesitate in the circumstances
To use the dirtiest of tricks, one after one, ever-increase.

*

Gilded dwell
Amidst the blue lights
Of the winter night:
Of the moon light
Of the star light
To us
These be given to joy
The Earth’s toy
To us her children:
A heart that joys
More than it grieves:
A heart that pines
At the red dusk
That ecstasies at the new Dawn.

*

Whither do you go lone star that strays
From your path towards the arch
Of dark that surrounds you?

Why stray you from the company of peers
And kin of stars this night that so
Serene looks over the earthly scene?

You will not speak; you will not tell;
But give me the key to your heart
That I may know. I will not tell.

*

Over the silver waters, relax you
Just as Moses flowed
Over the Nile unawares a young child.

And Destiny took care and still
It makes the Moses case not just
The single exception.

But more, more Destiny knocks at the door
With joyous tidings for those who
Expect it not, the more for them to joy.

*

Waters that rise
Though there be no fountain
But as magic surprise
And dances the snowy mountain.

*

Blue light that from the wild dark
Escapes into the moon light
Strays into the path of flying insects
Round the neon lights:
And shuns the path
Out of respect
Where ghosts and shrouds lament

*

New style
Midnight dancing
New child
Midnight dews
Hourly showers
Falling as silver dowers
The whole night till the Dawn
And then
On the green till the edge
Of cliff and sea-beach sparkles
A million and more eyes,
Tiny eyes, welcoming the Dawn.

*

Pere fisad merev kilieg
Bere tulag dihah milieg.