October 31st Poem by Richard D Remler

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October had never been so cold,
So unwelcome.

The stars came out,
And the trees started changing their colors,
And there was rain
And wind,

And Dad's brow was furrowed
And Mother did not smile,
And nobody said anything to us.

Nobody notices a kid
When his Grandmother dies,
When they stop the clocks in the house
And drape curtains over the windows
And the house fades
Into those shades and shadows
That linger like an endless
Emptiness.

It was Halloween,
And the pumpkin lay uncarved
On the kitchen table.

No plans for trick-or-treating
Echoed from room to room.
No breathless excitement where
We rang doorbells and filled
Our bags with that bounty
Of Cinnamon Taffy and m&m's
And Good-n-Plenty and
Now or Laters.

Just that quiet nothing -

That breath of loss and never
And quiet death.

And, believe it or not,
We understood what was
Going on.

We were not blind,
And we had hearts,
Even though they were
Young hearts.

Grandma was gone.
The cancer had grabbed
Hold of her
And never let go,
And now Grandma
Was gone.

we learned that sometimes death
comes in the ugliest ways...

...and we felt the loss,
We knew she wasn't coming back.
We knew death had a certain smell now,
And that Doctors liked to promise things
They had no power over.

and we learned how deep the sea of sorrow
really is.

that, every now and again,
we grow just a little
in our loss.

That was the first time
I ever saw my Dad cry.



Copyright © MMXI Richard D. Remler