I knew a fellow once,
His name was Mintcrusher Newman,
He stood as tall as 3 oaks,
And as handsome as a fox,
With hair the colour of our burning desire for one another.
I was a young lass then,
Fresh as 4 daisies
Pretty as a picture painted by a squirrel,
But my heaving basoomas gave my game away.
The whole village knew of my love,
My love for one man and one man only,
The swashbuckling pirate named Mintcrusher Newman.
He sailed into my life, on a wave of passion
Crashing onto my beach,
With eyes as blue as the ocean he loved,
I was swept away by this towering vision of manliness.
Days and nights spent loving and laughing,
He kissed away my fears.
Such passion, such desire,
I have never felt more alive then in his strong arms,
His warm embrace,
His burning loins.
As I ran my hands
Through that disheveled mass of auburn curls
And stroked his strong, hairy chest
I become lost in love.
I had never known love could feel like this,
That my eyes could shine with such wondrous light,
I loved him with abandon,
I was enraptured,
But alas! I could not know that soon my love and i would part,
That the sands of time were doomed to wrench us apart.
His ship came to harbour that very morning,
He was forced to leave me,
I cried a thousand tears,
He kissed them all away,
But he departed,
Leaving me to grieve his absence.
My soul wrenched in two,
My heart in twain,
I could only sing bittersweet tales of lost love
And tragic romance,
of Romeo and Juliet,
Hamlet and Ophelia,
Othello and Desdemona,
Sienna and Jude,
To the fathomless ocean that had claimed my love,
Praying my archaic lover would return
Knowing he never would.
There was no Tashka without and Elska
And no Elska without a Tash, once upon a time
But no more.